It’s Naptime: The Scarlet Letter

The worst feeling in the world is not being able to fall asleep. Whether there’s an upcoming test or you’re dreading waking up early, sleepless nights plague millions across the globe. There’s nothing worse than lying in bed dreading the exhaustion you’ll be feeling in the morning. Instead of lying there, next time pick up a copy of The Scarlet Letter instead!

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The Lion, The Witch, and The Anti-Christian Agenda

Author C.S Lewis created a massive universe where magic, talking animals, and other fantastical things come to life. Lewis has publicly stated that The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe draws upon Catholic themes in the setting of another fictitious book. However, beneath this shallow analogy is a more sinister Satanist subplot which in fact villainizes and oppresses Christians.

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The White Oppression/Hunger Games

Here at Tomestone, as you could probably tell, we pride ourselves on advocating for social diversity. Whether it be animal domination, advocating for totalitarianism, or exposing young adult fiction novels, we are the first news source to report on the issues that matter. When we heard there was a movie with a shocking 4 minority characters and a half female cast only because it was written into the movie’s rules, we had to write about it.

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Not Enough Communism: The Sympathizer

Close your eyes (open them so you can finish this sentence then close them again) and try to conjure up the first image that comes to mind of the Vietnam war. Is it the young naked child running from the napalm attack, or a dramatic scene from Francis Ford Coppola’s Apocalypse Now? My mind immediately goes to Jane Fonda hanging out on that anti-aircraft gun, like the white feminist hippie Rosa Parks she aspires to be.

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2 Crooks 1 Plot: The Outsiders

This is a story that the liberal media will never tell you. A story of the lies, deceit, and decades of planning one woman used to further systemic oppression and racism in America. This same woman, by the name of Hillary Rodham “Road Rage” Clinton, used her evil witch voodoo magic to try and suppress this story. However, after months of data collecting and seconds of skimming articles to fact check, we at Tomestone have come up with the not circumstantial at all story of her corrupt acts.

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It’s Getting Hot in Here, so Burn Your Boss to Death

Fahrenheit 451 is Ray Bradbury’s fiery novel about a man with relationship problems and a secret possession he keeps from his employer and the authorities. The only essential difference between it and the superior 1984 is that novel is about reading books instead of the news and Orwell calls tv’s “telescreens” to sound like more of a space hipster. Continue reading “It’s Getting Hot in Here, so Burn Your Boss to Death”

History’s First and Worst Fan Fiction: Frankenstein

On a blistery night, sitting around a fireplace with some close friends, Mary Shelly was challenged to come up with a ghost story to share with her frozen companions. Only eighteen years at the time, Shelly wrote a novel that changed the genre of fantasy and horror forever, paving the way for other creative literary twists like fan fiction.

And it’s complete shit. Continue reading “History’s First and Worst Fan Fiction: Frankenstein”

A Song of Lice and Friar: Game of Thrones Book 1

Everyone knows the Game of Thrones theme song. It’s one of those indescribable pieces of music that anytime it plays your ears immediately perk up with recognition. The program that swept the nation, GoT managed to take the fantasy genre from DND nerd’s basements and into the mainstream conversation. Oh, and there’s apparently some books about it too. Continue reading “A Song of Lice and Friar: Game of Thrones Book 1”